Aspirational living

I've been doing a lot of introspection of late. I suppose this is due largely to my spectacular failure to secure even one interview during the current flurry of graduate program applications, coupled with a growing sense that the economy, environment and society in general are all about to implode. I don't like my job - I have to work five nights a week and usually both Saturday and Sunday, completing mindless data entry - and I find it especially galling to be told that I should be grateful for having it, as if an economic meltdown is an argument for self-enforced contentedness.

I'm not the most driven person, truth be told. I marvel at people who wake up early and go for a run, make themselves a full breakfast, respond to their e-mails on the way to work and are sitting in their office before 8am. I just can't do this. I lose focus too quickly, and have trouble expanding on ideas. Sure there are stories about the underachiever as hero, but inevitably their eventual success is dependent upon a healthy mix of luck and timing, with considerable persistence and great intelligence. I doubt that one in a million has the chance to hit upon a single great idea like these people. But I seem to be experiencing an epiphany of sorts right now, which is acting as a consoling force.

This epiphany goes something like: I don't need to succeed... at least not conventionally. Rather, I can choose to pursue happiness. But, what makes, and will continue make, me happy? I honestly can't answer that, beyond the material or the short-term. Hence, the introspection. So which of life's many paths to take? Is there one best option for happiness, or is it the very presence of options that will bring me contentment? I wouldn't mind some advice on this matter.